Here's how they remember a conversation between Hurley and Alpert:
Hurley: Dude are you a Timelord?
Hurley: Sooo then...are you a Cyborg?
Richard: No, I'm not a Cyborg.
Richard: No, but do I dazzle you?
Hurley: Kinda. Cylon?
Richard: Frak no.
Richard: No, but check out "V" Tuesdays at 8 EST on ABC.
I also liked this summary of Alpert's reasons for wanting to kill himself:
Inside the Black Rock, Richard breaks out a stick of dynamite from that endless supply of sweaty TNT the ship apparently has, and he asks Jack to light the fuse.
He told Jack that at first he was afraid, he was petrified - he had spent his long ass life thinking he could never live without Jacob by his side, but lately he's spent so many nights thinking how he'd done him wrong, and he grew strong, and now he's learning how to get along.